She Wears Them Well
by tiltherewasyou
Summary: Written for Faberry Week 2014 - Scars She remembers the students at Yale who would look and never touch, and never ask. Rachel doesn't have to ask. Quinn actually thinks, as she watches Rachel trace her own left thigh with her opposite hand, that perhaps Rachel doesn't have to ask because Rachel has this scar's phantom twin.


A/N – Probably the topic of most of the "Day 1 – Scars" Faberry week fics. But, the more the merrier, right? So yeah – Faberry week Day 1! And also, I haven't kept up with Glee canon so let's just assume in this that stuff after season 3 will be wrong. As usual, I don't own Glee.

\|\

It's not like Quinn is ashamed of her scars, per say.

They certainly look much better than they had a year ago.

It's just that she's not used to other people paying attention to her legs up close.

It's the summer after her sophomore year of college, 2 and a half years since the accident. The scars from the smaller cuts aren't even noticeable anymore, fading into the rest of her skin pretty perfectly. However, there are a few spots on her legs, and about 17 on her back and left side, that had to be stitched, that the metal of her car… well, really _really _messed up.

It's not like she is ashamed of them, per say, but she's staying in New York this summer interning and taking summer classes in an exchange with Columbia. She is super grateful for the opportunity, and so excited to catch up with some of her old friends, but the people at Yale see her scars and maybe, on a good day, ask questions. Usually, if they even bother to look at her arm or her leg where the scars are, their eyes will flash back to hers in an instant and they will ignore the curiosity that she can see burning behind their eyes.

Staying in New York in a loft with Rachel and Kurt won't be like that. Because Rachel and Kurt know.

Since the accident, Quinn hasn't been around her Lima friends in the summer. Last year she spent most of her summer in Europe, only coming to New York on a reasonably cool weekend. She had been able to wear longer dresses and jeans.

And when she had returned to Lima, not that it had been often, she had worn blazers.

She's anxious to spend the summer with her friends, she's just hoping that once the shorts and tank tops do inevitably come out, Rachel won't look like someone just kicked her puppy 15 times.

Putting her last item into the suitcase, Quinn heads over to the bed where her laptop is resting. She comes over just in time to see a Skype request from "Santana Hoe-pez" and she grins to herself, thinking to herself that she actually is pretty clever.

"Bitch, took you long enough." Santana says, but Quinn can see she's smiling. Her smile gets bigger when Brittany sits down beside her. Quinn is happy they've found their way back to each other, not that there was ever any doubt in her mind.

"Well Lopez, some of us have big enough apartments to actually, you know, walk across."  
Quinn snarks back.

"Hey, we've got a little piece of paradise right here. Speaking of, still can't believe you're choosing to room with diva explosion over there instead of 2 of your oldest and bestest pals. Right B?"

"Yeah, Quinn, it makes me sort of sad that we won't be having an extra long sleepover." Brittany pouts into the camera.

She sighs, trying to think of a way to explain this one to Brittany.

Before she can, though, Santana chimes in with: "Hey B, she totally would be crashing here, but I bet she has mad plans to FINALLY seduce the hobbit with that mangled left side all summer long."

All of them stiffen, Brittany the first to break and walk away from the computer grumbling about it not being funny.

Santana looks at Quinn over the screen and sighs.

"Shit, Q… You know I love you and think you're gorgeous, right? Because. Shit. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking when it slipped out."

"Santana, you know it's okay." Quinn responds. "My question is though, as usual, Why do you still refer to Rachel as 'the hobbit' when you guys are BFFSINLOVE now? And why do you keep thinking I'm capable of seducing her when we know from your misguided attempts a while back that she's completely straight?"

"Quinn, Same way I'll always call you Tubbers. It's practically an endearment by now. And you know you're her only exception, right? Like, don't get me wrong, Rachel's always so far up whoever the current boy's ass. But, she's up your ass too."

Quinn's breath hitches a bit. She had told Santana and Brittany just 4 months ago about her long time crush on Rachel. Its' effects have warn off of her just a bit, she had spent the first part of this year in a serious relationship. Rachel is a figment of her romantic imagination – that's all she's allowed to be.

"San… I don't need you to give me hope anymore about this one, alright? It is what it is? I'm okay. She's okay. Besides, you know what Spencer always says about hope? It breeds eternal misery."

"Yeah yeah Q. Well hey, we will see you when you get here tomorrow okay? I've gotta go try to save my ass from the futon. Love you bitch. Sorry, again."

"Night Lopez. Good luck with the backache!" she yells into the computer right before Santana shuts her computer with force.

She loves her friends, and she is so excited for this summer.

\|\

Far too early the next morning finds Quinn sitting on a train with 2 large suitcases, a duffle, and her purse scattered about her.

This happens every time she comes to New York, minus the 2 suitcases.

What is really special about today is that it's going to be close to 90 degrees outside and Quinn had been forced into shorts and a t-shirt.

An angry scar stands out against the very pale skin of her thigh. She hates this one particularly, but college has taught her a lot. She wants to be open and honest with the world around her, so she thinks she should start with her 2 oldest friends, the unrequited love of her young life, and her favorite gay man. These scars etched on her skin are the same thing as her strength, and she wants to be strong.

She laid awake all of last night thinking about these scars and Rachel and Santitany and New York. She thought about what it means to all of these things that she still breathes. For the first time in a while, she was overwhelmingly thankful that she has these scars, because they mean she is alive to take in the sunrise over the city as she travels in. She should have taken a later train, she knows, but she couldn't wait a second longer.

She also spends the train ride convincing herself it has nothing to do with Rachel's presence being intoxicating.

She hails a cab outside of the station and rattles off Kurt and Rachel's… her own address. Rachel had given her a key 2 weeks ago, just in case she or Kurt weren't available. In no time the cab pulls up outside of the building. She pays and climbs the stairs with all of her stuff, stopping to gather her thoughts just outside of HER front door.

No one will be awake, but she's just going to go to the spare "room" they have set up and pass out anyway. She smiles, knowing this is going to be such a great summer. She quietly tiptoes into the apartment; leaving her things by the door so she doesn't make so much noise she wakes her roommates up.

Climbing into her bed, Quinn wishes New York a good morning.

\|\

Quinn awakes, not for the first time, to the sound of Rachel Berry's voice.

The first time it happened was in a hotel room after sophomore year sectionals. She had yelled at Rachel then, only because she was so, so hurt.

It has happened several more times, and eventually Quinn's reaction shifted from yelling to whispering. The transformation isn't lost on either of them.

Rachel is trying to be quiet, Quinn can tell. And Lord bless her, she really does sound like it is a strain.

"Kurt, are you going somewhere? Kurt? Hey. I'm sorry, I know it's still too early for a Saturday. I just wanted to know why you got new luggage and why your stuff is by the door. No, silly. What? BUT KURT THAT MEANS THAT QUINN IS HERE!" Rachel screams the last line as she hastily runs through the apartment to the room where Quinn will be staying.

Rachel jumps on her bed. She legitimately jumps onto Quinn and Quinn's bed and Quinn wonders 2 things, not for the first time. She wonders what gives Rachel this kind of energy so early in the morning and sustains it all day. She wonders if Rachel understands what she does to Quinn in these moments.

Finn once told her that he found Rachel's energy hard to deal with and annoying sometimes. Quinn can only feed off of it, only desire its' presence every day in her life, only love it about her friend. She never understood why it was hard to deal with.

So she lazily murmurs into the soft pillow a faint, "Surprise, Rach."

Rachel squeals and throws her arms around a still snoozing Quinn.

\|\

A little later that same day, Quinn rolls out of bed a little stiffly. Not that she would admit it, but it's always a little stiffly the first thing after waking up. It doesn't faze her anymore, though. She just smiles as she makes her way into the living area, surprised to see all of her things had been moved into her room while she was sleeping.

Rachel bounds around a corner then, and the next thing she knows, Quinn is almost tackled to the floor. Maybe it is cheerleading reflexes, or hit by a car reflexes, but she's able to catch them both before they stumble to the ground.

Rachel beams the brightest smile up at her. It makes Quinn's heart race, makes it throb, makes it beat. Rachel has always had that effect now that she thinks about it.

"Morning roommate." Rachel grins even wider, and Quinn wonders how it's possible.

Rachel doesn't, maybe can't, respond. Instead she takes Quinn's hand and leads her to the couch, bringing her a tray with Orange Juice, toast, a daisy, and coffee on it. Quinn's stomach rumbles and she's glad Rachel has foresight into the sort of things she needs without having to ask. She's glad, not for the first time, that they overcame their tumultuous past and became friends… best friends, she smiles as she reminds herself.

Rachel sits down on the couch beside her and gasps, reaching out to run her fingers along the faded scar on Quinn's outer thigh.

And for the first time, Quinn trusts someone out there enough to let it happen.

She remembers the students at Yale who would look and never touch, and never ask. Rachel doesn't have to ask. Quinn actually thinks, as she watches Rachel trace her own left thigh with her opposite hand, that perhaps Rachel doesn't have to ask because Rachel has this scar's phantom twin.

All of her friends bear some of her scars.

Brittany, Puck, and Mercedes have phantom twin scars of her baby marks. Puck has the same shaped hole, just a little bit less deep, in his soul.

Brittany and Santana have her scars that were not her own nature's doing; Quinn has always been a somewhat explosive entity. But her father had been much worse, and he had latched some scars into other's skin.

But she thinks maybe Rachel carries her ugliest physical scars in a more emotional way. She thinks that's why she's always been hesitant to show them to Rachel. Rachel wears these same scars, carries them with her. Sure, they aren't physically there, but Quinn knows from the look on Rachel's face, and the tears trying to form behind both of their eyelids, that this is the part of their souls that are mates, and that Rachel mirrors her completely.

Part of Rachel scarred permanently that day, too: partially for Quinn, partially for the reality that her fantasy Finn Hudson world wasn't going to happen. Quinn understands that Rachel's scars have a dual nature that isn't separable like hers. Quinn can separate "This is my physical scar from the accident." And "This is my emotional scar from being alive again."

Rachel cannot separate her scars of "My friend, best friend, almost died today." And "I lost my belief in 'the love of my life' today."

Quinn is stirred from her musings by a rustling of the hand on her thigh. 2 fingers are brought up to pretty, pinkish lips, kissed in what appears to be a feather light moment, and taken back down to the fading crisscross on her legs.

Quinn's breath catches in her throats and she looks at Rachel.

The look she sees there throws her entire world out of balance for a moment.

Rachel's eyes swim in deep emotion. Quinn only hopes that she doesn't drown while she sorts through them.

Rachel leans in and reverently kisses Quinn's cheek.

"I'm so glad you're alive. I'm so glad that truck wasn't going 2 miles per hour faster. Quinn. I love you so, so much."

At these words, Quinn's heart beats, swims, drowns, and comes alive. Rachel's had this way of knowing just what to say and when. College has been good to her in that way.

Quinn opens her arms and Rachel cuddles into her side.

Neither one of them questioned that morning why it felt so much like coming home at the end of a long war.

\|\

2 weeks later, the quintet finds themselves, of all things, swimsuit shopping. Quinn has the day off from class and work, and Rachel and Kurt don't go in until 5 tonight.

Which means when Rachel and Kurt leave for work, the unholy trinity will be resurrecting their fake ID's. It had been a while, and sure, Santana is already legal, but it's more fun this way.

Quinn's less nervous about getting caught with her fake though, and more nervous about swimsuits. She hates her body in a different way than she used to. Now, she's in great shape, and she knows it, but her back is torn apart and sewn back together and it's obvious to anyone who gives her more than a second's glance.

This bikini that Santana had forced into her dressing room with a "Trust me" doesn't hide anything remotely scar-like.

In a moment of bravery, Quinn decides to buy it anyway.

It's later that night, after bar hopping on a fake and taking a bottle of bourbon home, and somehow the 3 of them have found their way into Brittany an Santana's community hot tub.

Quinn is wearing a dress shirt over a bikini. It's been a long night already.

"QUINNNNNNN CALL KURT! TELL THEM TO GET OVER HERE I MISS HOBS."

"S is just saying she wants them to come get you so we can get our snuggle on." 

Brittany always was a brutally honest drunk.

Quinn stands, slowly, out of the hot tub and walks over to her phone. It takes her a while to get to contacts, and to Rachel's name even though she's in the favorites.

"Rach it's warm come over bye." Seems to be an eloquent enough sentence for now.

30 minutes later, a laughing Kurt and Rachel come into the complex to join the trio. They don't get in the hot tub, but the 5 of them sit around and laugh for hours. Rachel and Kurt have to practically carry Quinn home.

Morning dawns in the Fahummelberry home and Quinn winces at the window. It isn't so terrible, she decides.

She goes to put her feet on the ground, but there's a human lying there right beside her bed.

She smiles to herself and kicks Rachel lightly.

Rachel is startled awake but the look on her face is one of sincere concern seconds later when she's fully conscious.

Quinn suddenly flashes back to a few hours before and Rachel trying to help her get ready for bed. She had helped Quinn out of her dress shirt, shocked by Quinn's back. She had tried to hold Quinn… and Quinn is mad at her drunken alter ego for not letting her in. If last night had happened while Quinn was sober, which on principle wouldn't happen because Quinn wouldn't wear that bikini sober in the first place, Quinn would have let Rachel do what Rachel does best.

Heal Quinn.

Coming to her present self, Quinn smiles lightly at Rachel, seeing relief pool into her eyes.

"Hey, Rach."

"Hey Quinn. You okay this morning?"

Quinn thinks. Is she okay?

"Yeah Rach. I'm sorry about… whatever happened."

"Don't apologize Quinn. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Quinn's tired of having Rachel forgive her without her having to try. A split second of courage and Quinn's hand is on Rachel's. She can't believe she slept in this bikini, but it's appropriate for what she wants to happen next.

She guides the hand she's holding onto the middle of her back and holds her breath.

So much has shifted between Quinn and Rachel since that day 2 weeks ago with the scar on Quinn's leg.

So when Rachel leans in to kiss her cheek and rest her head on her shoulder, Quinn doesn't hesitate to wrap the smaller frame into her own, wistfully.

They go back to sleep in that small room.

A few hours later, Quinn wakes up and rolls over to face Rachel. She finds Rachel's eyes immediately and before she can think to ask how long Rachel's been awake, just holding her, Rachel whispers "I love you so, so much Quinn." And her mouth is on Quinn's.

\|\

6 months later, on Rachel's opening night, the card on Quinn's flowers will read, "I love you so, so much."

3 years later, on their wedding day, they will both grin and say, "I love you so, so much." To start their speeches.

2 more years after that, they'll stare at the sonogram and tell their first baby, "We love you so, so much."


End file.
